Have you ever noticed how we get in our own way? How we are our own worst critics? How we torture ourselves with fears, worst case scenarios, “shoulds”, or all the reasons why we “can’t” have what we want?
In life and in my body psychotherapy work with clients (also called somatic psychology or somatic therapy), I constantly witness how we get in our own way. How all the “noise” – the mind-chatter, the fear, the “shoulds”, the emotional backlash – covers up what we really want to do. I was talking to a friend the other day who is having marriage problems and I said to her, “what is your truth about this relationship. What is your heart’s desire?” We get lost in our relationships and in our lives in our own story of the way things “should be”.
It’s easy to get caught up in the “noise” when we approach it from the mental level… we try to analyze it, figure it out, let the mind wrestle with it. Did you know that there is a much more direct (and in my experience more effective!) way to deal with the “noise”? Approach it through your body awareness (vs. the mind) and see what happens…
When I get lost and caught up in chaos and confusion, it’s a red flag for me to take some time and move from my mind into my body. I take my breath into my belly and deep into my pelvis and listen. Listen to the confusion, the noise, the upset, the disappointment, the judgments, the criticism and whatever else is in there… I stay with that for a minute, feel it, and observe it. Then I listen a little deeper. Because underneath all the noise is the answer.
It can take a little bit of practice and some support the first few times. But I do know again and again that when I go inside, I find the answer. Now, it may be that I uncover the resistance that is holding me back from moving forward (which is a blessing because then I can deal with it) or maybe I experience an insight “aha” moment that clarifies my direction or next step, or the obvious answer just pops right up.
Take the example of one of my clients this week. She thinks she is confused about what she wants to do in life, but she actually has a very clear voice of her path… when it is given a chance to express itself. This “voice of truth” lives underneath the other “noisy” voices and can be accessed through the core of the body. This wise aspect is very patient; it won’t shout to compete with the “noise”, and it is willing to wait to be heard. In her body, it lives deep within her belly/pelvic area. This voice inside is very clear about what she is here to do and how to get there… it is simply unwilling to fight all the other aspects to be noticed. Once accessed, it has very direct wisdom that tells her everything she needs to know. We all have this within us. In this way, the answers we seek really are inside us just waiting to be tapped.
So, take a moment right now and breath deep inside, letting the breath flow in and out, deep in your belly. What is underneath all the noise in your head (or elsewhere in your body)? Wait for it. Hold there. Now, find that place deep within… as deep as you can go. Connect in, and listen for the answer because it is there.
Please write a comment or email me and let me know what is your truth underneath the “noise”. Or what block is stopping you from knowing what your truth is? I would love to hear from you.
